Today I took your heart and broke it in two.
I felt your pain as if it were my own
and all I wanted to do was hold you and
protect you from myself.
From the words that I could not continue.
That we could not continue to be,
if my own heart were to keep beating on this world
with my lungs staying full
each and everyday.
I ripped open that wound.
You told me you had trust issues.
I won’t be surprised if you walk on from this
with distrust for the whole world.
I love you and care for you.
I want the best for you in this world
and I want you to grow into the person you deserve to be and be able to love,
and trust again.
I want you to go back to school and make something of yourself.
I want you to be able to walk into a room and be proud of who you are.
Because you were the kindest person to me and always had my back,
always held my hand in spirit.
But not in real life.
And my needs had grown real.
My pain is now so real.
For years I have been holding everything together for other people.
Holding onto everyone so tight,
keeping them safe and secure,
without realizing that the more people I helped
the more help I needed.
And none of it was returned.
No one tried or worried about me or wanted to keep me pieced together.
So this is why I need to let you go.
I know you tried, but at this point it wasn’t enough.
I hope you understand.
Because with no one,
I can only depend on myself,
and will myself to get better, stronger, and happier.
Only I can do this.
I hope you can find beauty and love in this world.
I hope you can lay back one day with the sun on your face and smile.
Smile for the both of us.
Until I learn how to,
remember how to, all on my own.
I’m so sorry, with all my heart.
Or whatever is left of it.