I saw you today. It had been 2 months since the last time you saw me.
You gave me a small peck on my lips but that’s it.
We walked around and our plans slowly unfolded
into moments where you flashed around money
you didn’t have,
then followed by complaints of going to areas where people are.
Is it so bad that I want to be in a place so many people enjoy,
nothing unreasonable,
but I can’t even get comfortable looking in one store in a mall,
the whole time I can feel your discomfort,
restlessness, and stress.

We went for a short walk,
something you never want to do and complain about doing
after only 5 minutes of doing so.
But yet you say it’s a nice day and you want to
spend it outside.

At dinner there are long pauses,
I don’t know what to say,
the whole time all I can think is thank god I have this
good food in front of me and in front of you
because its the only thing keeping our mouths busy
from having to acknowledge the growing silence.

I notice another couple across from us,
the man brushes hair away from his partner’s face.
Another man gently touches his partner’s lower back
guiding her to their table.
But all you did was give me a small peck on the lips today.
You walk in front of me or behind me
an extra piece of evidence to show we are growing further apart.

I don’t know what else to say to you.
But I’m scared to tell you it’s over.
I’m scared to tell you I don’t think I feel the same.
I’m scared to shatter your life,
since you told me I’m the only good thing keeping you going.
So instead, I shatter me own.

They say love is sacrifice,
but how much of me am I willing to give?

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